Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Random I.M Conversation # 4



Michael says:
A bunch of suits just walked in. I think things are going down real soon.

Murphy says:
Take off your pants!

Michael says:
hahahaha

Michael says:
I never wore any today.

Murphy says:
Okay, then...put on a pair of bicycle shorts.

Michael says:
Just to remove them?
Seems obsolete, no?

Murphy says:
I thought you came in with no pants on...and really...the only way one can trump a pantless man is to sport bicycle shorts.

Murphy says:
Those shorts are probably more career limiting than a junk habit.

Michael says:
Dude, the only thing to trump bicycle shorts is the human wang. So I win

Murphy says:
Did you just refer to a penis as a, "human wang?"

Murphy says:
Are you wearing a Tandy t-shirt under your sweater vest?

Michael says:
No, I’m wearing a mesh t-shirt hand cut to just below my nipples.

Michael says:
I changed from a full mesh t-shirt because I looked like this walking around the office:
(See Above)

Murphy says:
Here’s another idea...stumble out of your office shitter all sweaty and yell, "shitter's full!"

Michael says:
hahahaha

Michael says:
That worked well at the xmas party...so I’m sure it will go over well.

Michael says:
It’s one of those timeless office pranks.

Murphy says:
I use it all the time.

Murphy says:
Christmas vacation is definitely underrated for old comedies that still have a few laughs.

Michael says:
Any time a jam of the month club is given out, it's an instant classic in my books

Murphy says:
Technically, i think it's a jelly-of-the-month club.

Murphy says:
And it's the gift that keeps on giving all year long.

Michael says:
You know what else is the gift that keeps on giving?
Open cold sores.

Murphy says:
As is a (Omitted) bound and locked in the truck of my car.


****I removed a word up there in Murphy's last comment as IP addresses are tracked and I don't feel like pointing the internet cops in his direction. I will though if I had to. I would sell him out like that if push came to shove. Shit, I would sell him out for a half eaten hot dog peeking out from underneath a bums sleeping bag in the sweltering city heat.


Don't judge me for having big dreams.


Random email thread # 1 - The Birth of a big white black man.


Murphy - I’d like to have sex behind an amplifier at this show:

18-JUL-09

ICE CUBE

SOUND ACADEMY

ALL AGES

$41.50


Michael - I'd like to be a fly on a glistening jheri curl backstage for this show.

Murphy - You're a racist.

Michael - You're a bigot.

Murphy - My bird is blacker than yours is!

Michael - Are you saying that because she's a baby mama? Who is the racist now?

Murphy - Out of bounds! Out of bounds! This thread = gold.

Michael - You know who would really love this thread? Your chick. I see Maury Povich casting calls in the near future!


***Edit - Please note that I am neither a racist nor a fan of the Maury Povich show. I had to make that clear. As for Murphy, this is him in all his glory.